Photos of Shanghai Trip

Lobby of Blue Horizon International
Shopping at Nanjing Street

Haagen Das at Nanjing Street

Entrance of OCBC

Shanghai Museum

Group photo at LSC Group

Shot on the River Cruise

Taken on the River Cruise

Overall Reflection

For the past 13 weeks, I have learnt more about enhancing self-awareness and self-esteem, Managing Anger and conflict. Not that I wasn’t aware of any of them earlier on, but just that I have a better and clearer picture of them and the understanding now is more in-depth.Self-awareness is important to me because it helps me to observe myself without judgment and to see myself as who I am. Self-awareness is thus the best tool to enhance my self-esteem.

Self-esteem is the foundation of everything in our lives, so to speak. A healthy self-esteem starts with self-awareness, paying attention to our needs and goals. Gaining knowledge on them enables me to understand myself better and hence I am aware of my own desires, objectives and ambition in life. In other words, I know what I want and there is a sense of direction in my life. I should be confident then.

Managing time is crucial because getting tasks done right saves us the useful time that can be used on other tasks. For instance, if I devote my time specifically to revision, I should revise wholeheartedly, after which I will be able to spend time on leisure activities, or rather making use of time while waiting for transport to revise saves me the useful time that can be used for other purposes. Often, there is too much to do and not enough time to do it.

An effective method of time management is prioritizing. By prioritizing, I can place my tasks on order of importance and deal with them one at a time. Because of time constraints, we need to know how to maximize our time at work to ensure that we complete our work both effectively and efficiently. In short using effective time management practices ensures quality use of time as well as efficiency.

In the lesson for managing anger, I have learnt several ways of managing anger. They are: listening to music, exercising, drawing, or even mediating and deep breathing. If there’s someone whom I trust, I can talk to her about my feeling and thoughts. Penning down my emotions helps as well. I have also learnt about COW Behavioral Responses to Anger (Control, Outbursts and Withdrawal; which was further elaborated and explained in my second blog.) Hence, the above strategies in managing anger aid me in dealing with anger. When I am exasperated or irritated, I wouldn’t vent my anger on others. Instead, I would contain my rage and manage my anger in whichever ways preferable to me.

Through the project that my group had done, I came to realize that compromising and collaborating were essential in handling our problems. I recognized my strengths and weakness in teamwork and conflict management. As such, identifying my weakness prompts me to perfect and develop more strength which will greatly benefit me in future projects or even relationships with my peers and family members. Adopting strategies in managing conflict can help significantly in resolving future disputes.

I understand how listening is a vital part of communicating and is necessary to make the world a better place. In this fast-paced world overloaded with communication technology, lack of personal communication skills can result in negative behavior and outcomes. I suppose those who succeed in life also succeed in communication. Personal communication specifically understands what others are trying to say. Communicating my ideas and conflict management are skills that I hope to strengthen in order to empower me to become a better person.

With effective communication skills, I will be able to express my thoughts and feelings clearly in such a way that they are understood by others. Of course, I know that proficiency in communicating is not something that can be mastered overnight. Therefore, I hope that my communication skills improves gradually in the subsequent 3 years in Ngee Ann. Additionally, we should treat others with the same dignity and respect that I would expect. With that, conflicts can be avoided. Being calm is beneficial in preventing the conflict from aggravating further.

All in all, the above topics covered in Life Management Skills have significantly help in enabling me to become a better person by understanding myself more, to become resourceful person by managing time effectively and efficiently. On top of that, I have greater confidence in managing conflict in the course of a project and not forgetting the importance of teamwork. I am sure, all that will stand me in good stead, not only academic wise, but I believe that these would be applicable when I am out there in the society too. As a matter of fact, such skills are vital in the society when we graduate. They will stay with us life-long, so to speak.

I must say that I have also enjoyed the lessons conducted by the tutor. There isn’t any communication barrier between the tutor and us, in the sense that we can joke among ourselves. I feel pretty comfortable coming for LMS as the atmosphere is rather flexible. I don’t quite know how to put it across, but perhaps that’s the reason why studies IS is different from other modules. Though stressful at times because of the project (role-play), assignments and the blogs that we have to post, I suppose that’s part-and-parcel of Poly life. Come to think of it, it’s a routine that everyone experiences. I mean it’s pretty fair, since there isn’t Exams for IS. I do admit that at times, I dread the routine of assignments and projects. Since these are the requirements, we got to abide by it. Nevertheless, it’s not easy.

Honestly on the whole, I take pleasure in attending LMS class and have really benefitted from the lessons conducted and not forgetting the movies screened. Screening movies captivates our attention and most importantly, enable us to learn and absorb better aside from the usual routine of learning from PowerPoint slides, not that it is monotonous, but using other ways of bringing across a message such as screening a part of a movie helps us in understanding concepts better.

Reference:
http://www.selfesteemawareness.com/What-is-self-esteem.htm
http://www.stfrancis.edu/ba/ghkickul/stuwebs/btopics/works/time.htm
http://homt.earthlink.net/~themariens/LeadershipCommunication.htm

Conflict & Teamwork

Monday, June 25, 2007

Through working with my team members on Assignment 3, in terms of my strengths in managing conflict I am relieved that I was able to stay calm when issues arises instead of panicking and escalating into a conflict in my team. As for my weakness, I realized that I wasn’t proficient or capable enough in coming up with brilliant ideas. For instance, my group’s storyline is pretty typical. I wasn’t creative enough to come up with original and imaginative ideas.

My strengths in teamwork are that I complete whatever tasks assigned to me to my fullest potential, in the sense that I give it my best shot; not that my work will be perfect though. My weakness in teamwork is that I couldn’t help solve certain problems effectively.Teamwork is the concept of people working together cooperatively.

Teamwork helps us face challenges and obstacles in a way that strengthens relationships and minimizes conflicts. Teamwork skills can be helpful because it helps me to get extra support from my friends when I need it. In order to be a successful team, my team members must be able to communicate, problem-solve and negotiate. We should be flexible, adaptable and able to work together to succeed and stay competitive.

I have also learnt that skills like listening, questioning, persuading, respecting, helping, sharing participating and communicating are important for teamwork. The most effective teamwork is produced when all the teammates involved harmonize their contributions towards a common goal. In fact, commitment and the setting of clear goals are characteristics of an effective team. Good teammates are willing to compromise, think of ways to solve problems and not demand that their ideas are used.

Conflict is a natural part of relationships amongst friends. The key is how we handle conflict. Additionally, the way in which one manages conflict can affect his or her health and happiness. Conflict is inevitable in social relationships- even in the strongest of relationships, much less conflicts among friends in the course of a project. Since conflicts reduce productivity, how we respond to it is therefore important.

I found 3 strategies that are useful in managing conflicts. Firstly, bring the conflict out into the open and not keep quiet or ignore them. Secondly, reach positive, productive resolutions to the conflicts. Thirdly, develop honest, forthright and positive relationships with teammates. In short, we should take heed of our teammate’s advice, be positive instead of ignorant.

My style of conflict management is that I will take time out to consider the issues (problems) and my response. I will not feel pressured to resolve the situation immediately. I will usually communicate my viewpoints firmly but not demand that my ideas have to be accepted as this can probably escalate into a conflict in my team. This style is effective for me as I wouldn’t feel pressurized by the obstacles and blow my top as a result.

An example will be a Business Law project that my peers and I embarked on. We had to submit an article and start on the project subsequently. However, the article that we had chosen was already taken by another group, yet the deadline for submission was the very next day. I was anxious and worried but I tried not to feel pressurized to solve the situation immediately although I knew for sure that we would be late for submission. I took some time to consider if we should continue searching for articles or approach the tutor. Finally, after some discussion with my teammates, I spoke to the tutor and we were entitled to a postponed deadline.

In the course of my group’s project, I remembered once when we had different suggestions about how our story should progress. That incident wasn’t really a conflict because we didn’t quarrel and argue over it, just that we had contradicting views. Still, the techniques that I used to manage the problem were to compromise and collaborate. Compromising is appropriate when teammates are satisfied with a part of their requests and are willing to be flexible. In a compromise, all parties will receive something and all parties will need to give up something. Collaboration, on the other hand, encourages teamwork and cooperation within a team. Collaboration works best when there is trust and respect among teammates. It does not establish winners and losers.

On the contrary, through Assignment 3, I have come to realize my weakness and strengths in teamwork and managing conflict. Identifying my weakness prompts me to improve and develop more strength which can greatly benefit me in future projects or even relationships with my peers and family members. Through my findings in managing conflict, I can put them to use should the need arises. Strategies in managing conflict are helpful in projects like this and I am sure adopting these strategies will greatly help in resolving or even preventing conflicts in future.

Reference:
http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/parents_teamwork_skills_managing_conflict.html/context304
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teamwork
http://www.hoyweb.com/faq/relation.htm#strategies

Managing Anger

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

In the lesson for Managing Anger and listening Skills, I have learnt more about the recognition of anger, expressing, and managing anger.

First and foremost, anger is a natural response to perceived frustration, threats, discouragement and stress. The recognition of anger can be categorized into physiological responses to anger, emotions and feelings associated with anger and lastly, the COW behavioral responses to anger. Physical responses to anger include tightened muscles, increased adrenaline levels and heartbeat. The feelings and emotions associated with anger will be disappointment. COW represents Control, Outbursts and Withdrawal respectively. Control refers to keeping cool and calm when one is really exasperated instead of blowing tops. Outbursts refer to the loss of control in expressing anger, in the sense that one throws his tantrum when he gets infuriated. Withdrawal is when someone keeps everything to himself, prefers to be alone and may even deny that he is angry. However, one should bear in mind that a person who is a withdrawal from anger risks low self-esteem and depression. Therefore, one should abstain from withdrawal of anger. It is strongly discouraged.

There are several ways to express anger from what I have learnt. They are firstly, always express anger in a calm way, using calm and logical words instead of violence. In short, be amicable, not sarcastic nor aggressive. Secondly, be patient and question others to get to the heart of the problem. Thirdly, be composed and cool in the face of one’s anger. Lastly and most importantly, slow down and analyze what you want to say. In other words, do not be impulsive.If one fails to express his anger in an appropriate and controlled way, it can result in intimidating, violent, or bullying behavior, which may ultimately endanger other people. These people are usually assertive and often vent their anger on others. They should think before they act and take responsibility for their own actions. Frequent anger not only harms our health, but also strain the relationship between others.

Knowing that mismanagement of anger can lead to detrimental consequences, but from another perspective, anger can be helpful to a certain extent. For instance, it gives us the courage to defend ourselves and those we love. It also motivates us to improve the world by inspiring social action and justice and of course, warns others not to take advantage of us. Despite these points, we should bear in mind that anger has its pros and cons, just that the effects of mismanaging anger can be more dreadful and severe compared to the helpfulness of anger.

RAP can be applied in managing anger. We should recognize that we are frustrated and breathe deeply or go for a walk, analyze our thoughts and anger and be truthful in their sayings, in an attempt to resolve their disputes. As for planning, they should change their attitudes and plan on achieving the desired outcome. To manage anger, we can practice relaxation exercises like yoga and meditation as they can help release tension in a controlled and healthy way. We should learn to convey our feelings by talking to friends or by venting anger through other ways; say creatively through writing. We can also exercise regularly to avoid the accumulation of stress and tension which may lead to anger.

I have also learnt about SIDE; stimulus, internal dialogue and emotional behavior. Stimulus refers to an event, situation or person that you were angry about; internal dialogue is what I say to myself. In the short video clip that I had watched during the lesson, the stimulus is the maid, whom the mother-in-law was angry with because she couldn’t seem to be skilful in preparing a nourishing ad nutritional meal for the family. The internal dialogue on the mother-in-law’s part is that she feels that her daughter is disrespectful, rebellion and useless for picking on a maid who is incapable of preparing meals. She drives her out of the house, retorting that her son can probably get a better wife instead. Additionally, the daughter-in-law has self-thoughts, that is, exaggerations and jumping to conclusions that her daughter is mixing with the wrong company since she returns home late at night. Hence, there is anger on both mother-in-law and daughter’s part.

Once, a friend of mine was absolutely arrogant, boastful and selfish. She does everything on her own and refuses to actively participate in group discussions. Instead, she will either be online on MSN or engrossed in her games. Upon problems to the projects, she pushes the blames and responsibility to us, saying that we didn’t take her advice and that we are the cause of the failure. She criticizes others and boasts about her capabilities. I was hurt by the overwhelming remarks that she passed, yet I contained my anger because I knew that if I blew my top, our friendship would never be the same again. Moreover, I didn’t want to aggravate matters. From then on, my group merely listened to what she has to say and followed her suggestions to avoid similar clashes again.

After today’s lesson, I have a better understanding of the concepts and techniques which are really useful in helping me manage anger such as those mentioned above. These, for sure, will stand in good stead in my future.

Reference:Powerpoint Slides

Enhancing self-awareness & self-esteem

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

In the first lesson, I have learnt more about self-awareness and self-esteem.Self- awareness refers to the knowledge and understanding of oneself. With self-awareness, one is able to present himself appropriately, create the impression he wants and open up to communicate and interact with others effectively. By doing so, he will have a better understanding of himself, thereby bringing about changes in his life. For instance, in my case, I am a rather pessimistic person, and have little faith in my abilities; say academic wise. Now that I have aquired knowledge on self-awareness, I understand that it is important to realise our weakness and work on them instead of disregarding and neglecting them as it can dampen one's confidence. Self-awareness can be enhanced by obtaining feedback from others, engaging in reflection, observing oneself, being open and interacting with diverse individuals. Often, we are unable recognize our character or personality. However, if we socialize and interact, friends will indentify our imperfections. Thus, we should accept their remarks with a positive mentality and change for the better if there is a need, instead of being arrogant. I was also introduced to the Johari’s Window, a frequently used model to improve people’s self-awareness. If one’s public self is big, then the private self will be small; since there’s limited information one chooses not to share. If my public self is small, my blind spot will be big as I am unaware of the aspects of my behavior.

Self-esteem refers to how we value ourselves. I have realized that whether our self-esteem is high or low depends on how we feel about ourselves as well as the values, beliefs and attitudes we hold. A person with self-esteem is assertive and positive. He feels that he is able to cope in life, able to overcome most challenges and accepts himself for who he is. In contrast, a person with low self-esteem is often pessimistic and focuses on his failures and dismisses success. In fact, he feels that he has limited influence over the changes that arises in his life. Therefore, self-esteem is important as it determines the choices we make, and ultimately the measures we take to make adjustments in Life. With self-esteem, one is able to make judgments, handle pressure and overcome challenges. I have learnt that the first step to building self-esteem is to appreciate and recognize myself as a unique individual. Focusing on strengths and being confident in these areas definitely helps in fostering self-esteem.

Finally, I find today’s class significant because the understanding on both self-awareness and self-esteem has an impact on our lives. Learning more about them helps us to become a person with self-confidence. In fact, I feel that both self-awareness and confidence are inter-linked because we have to accept ourselves before we are able to feel confident. As such, I can see that a successful person is usually one with self-awareness and self-esteem.

An optimistic person will view setbacks as not failures. They don’t get demoralized upon encountering obstacles. Instead, they will analyze the problem and view them as opportunities to grow. They are aware of what they are doing, have faith and persevere.Learning both aspects enable me to become a person who is really secured and assured.

Reference: Powerpoint Slides